Quilt Scraps Mom

Well, I may be a little behind, but at least I’ve gotten started. Technically, I am now only 2 days behind. I might actually have some hope of catching up

What has struck me in the chapters I’ve read ~ I’m somewhere around Chapter 40 of Genesis ~ is the amount of deception found in these tales from the very (literally) beginning:

• The serpent’s deception in enticing Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit.
• Cain’s attempt to cover up his brother’s murder.
• Abraham’s passing off of Sarah as his sister, not just once but twice (shouldn’t he have learned his lesson the first time??)
• Lot’s daughters’ secret attempts to become pregnant by their father.
• Jacob’s manipulation of Esau to gain his birthright, and later, conspiring with his mother, Rebekah, to steal Abraham’s blessing from Esau.
• Isaacs’ passing off of Rebekah as his sister rather than his wife (like father, like son?)
• Laban deceitfully manipulates Jacob into marrying Leah before Rachel.
• Jacob & Laban take advantage of one another with respect to livestock and other wealth.
• Rachel steals from her father and deceitfully covers her tracks.
• Jacob’s sons deceive and ultimately kill the Shechemites to avenge their sister’s rape.
• Judah’s failure to honor his word in giving Tamar his son, Shelah, as a husband, and her subsequent choice to pose as a prostitute to become pregnant by Judah.
• Joseph’s brothers lie to their father about Joseph’s fate.

Wow!  I’m really not sure WHAT to make of all that.  It’s just what really struck me.  Is God just trying to show us how even those we would consider to be Godly still struggle with deceptions and other sin?

I can see this is going to be an interesting path… wonder what God will show me next?  And will I actually GET the message some days?

A few days ago, I embarked on a journey ~ a journey of reading  through the Bible in 90 days.  Except you know what?  It seems I forgot to pack my suitcase or something… because here it is Day 4, and I’m, well, 4 days behind. I can’t help but wonder why.  But  I read an interesting book on personality types and devotional styles recently, and to follow what I learned, this kind of intense, scheduled type of reading/study is the polar opposite of what is likely to work with my personality.  Hmmm… I had great intentions here.  Of course, great intentions are my specialty.  I intended to blog more than once a season too, didn’t I?  So I’m really not sure where this is going… I can probably use the weekend to do some catch-up reading.   And I know anything that will get me focused on spending time in God’s word can’t be entirely bad.  So we’ll see… stay tuned to see if I’m really up for the challenge!

It’s snowing. Again. I’m really, really trying to work up some excitement for this. I mean, after all, I have a stack of videos from the library, plenty of good books I never have time to read, and of course, there’s always working on the taxes (fun, no ~ but spending the refund might be!). So why am I NOT happy about this interruption to my week? I’m really struggling with the potential feeling of being trapped ~ really, of not being in control. I like to be in control.  Realistically, don’t we all? And yet, we’re really not ever COMPLETELY in control. We think we are. But truly, only God is really, really in control. We can make plans, we can have dreams, we can think we know what tomorrow holds ~ but that can all change in an instant.  I’ve been sensing that a lot lately. I don’t like it. Not one, tiny little bit. And I guess THAT comes down to TRUST.   Also not one of my strong points. But Proverbs 3:5-6 makes it  pretty clear:  ”Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;  He’s the one who will keep you on track.”  (The Message)  We serve a God who loves us, who cares for us, who literally numbers every hair on our heads (even as they seem to falling out these days)… so why is it SO hard to trust in His love and goodness?  Something to ponder on this snowing winter day!

It’s been a long time.  I didn’t realize just HOW long until I saw that the Christmas countdown theme ~ from Christmas 2008 ~ was still up.  Of course, if I wait long enough it will be appropriate once more.  But I’m probably going to work on the whole theme thing soon.  IF I can remember how.  I had enough trouble figuring out how to log back into the site to post.

2009 was a long and difficult year.  So far, two months into 2010, I’m not all that excited by what has evolved thus far.  But I have been reminded that for me, this is a season of hope.  Hope and trust in the God that I serve, and faith in HIS plan for my future.  One of my favorite verses has always been Jeremiah 29:11:  ”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (NIV)

In the darkest of  my days, I must admit it’s been hard to see God’s plan, and hard to feel hopeful about His intentions.  But I was reminded yet again this morning ~ we are to bless God’s name not only when the sun is shining down us, but also when we find ourselves in a desert place or lost in what seems to us to be a wilderness.  I’m in that wilderness right now.  I don’t see my way out, and I don’t feel the sun shining down on me.  Still, God is the same yesterday and today and forever.

So on I must press, knowing that God IS by my side, and that He will give me a hope and a future even when I don’t feel it.  When doubt and discouragement call out to me even as I write.   Even in the darkness.

     It’s only an hour.  It’s not like traveling around the world.  It’s not even like we have to leave home.  So why on earth is it almost a week since we set the clocks ahead and I’m still dragging around like a world traveler with a serious case of jet lag???

        Don’t get me wrong… I love the fact that I look out my window while cooking dinner and still see the remnants of a sunny day winding to a close.   Soon it’ll be time for lazy evenings at the ball fields, relaxing with my preschooler on our “special lego blanket” while the older kids practice softball and baseball (okay, maybe a lap or two around the walking trail for me isn’t such a bad idea…).  And who could argue with the warming weather and flower buds peeking from beneath the mulch?     

     But somehow that one little hour seems to wreak havoc on our daily schedules.  Sleep doesn’t come easy in the evenings for my night owls, yet my early risers have yet to waver in their determination to begin the day at first light (or even before!).  And I’m left caught in the middle, trying to catch a few moments’ rest in between and still juggle all that needs to be done!

           Sometimes I wish we could at least really “gain” that hour… but would I fritter it away on things that don’t really matter?  Fit in one more thing on my ever-growing list of things to do?  Snatch an extra moment or two of shut-eye?  Or would I invest it in something that counts… an extra bit of cuddling with my preschooler?  Reading “just one more chapter” to my seven-year old?   Getting out one of those board games that always seem to take “too long” and enjoying time with my older girls?  And spending more than just a token stolen moment with the God I claim to love and serve?

      We have twenty-four hours each day… twenty-four precious hours to spend pursuing the purpose for which God placed us on this earth.  Twenty-four hours to love the people He’s put into our lives and to build memories that will last forever.  Yes, time really does change everything! 

     His mercies are new every morning.  I’ve been clinging to that passage over the last few days, as it has seemed as though the echo of amen would barely fade when I would finding myself needing to get back down on my knees and plead for God’s forgiveness and grace yet again.

     I’m not sure where I got the idea that surrendering my life to God was a once-and-done deal, but I’m quickly finding that it’s more like minute by minute, learning to give over each thought and desire that rises up within me.  Let’s just say it seems my flesh doesn’t plan to go down without a fight!