Quilt Scraps Mom

It’s snowing. Again. I’m really, really trying to work up some excitement for this. I mean, after all, I have a stack of videos from the library, plenty of good books I never have time to read, and of course, there’s always working on the taxes (fun, no ~ but spending the refund might be!). So why am I NOT happy about this interruption to my week? I’m really struggling with the potential feeling of being trapped ~ really, of not being in control. I like to be in control.  Realistically, don’t we all? And yet, we’re really not ever COMPLETELY in control. We think we are. But truly, only God is really, really in control. We can make plans, we can have dreams, we can think we know what tomorrow holds ~ but that can all change in an instant.  I’ve been sensing that a lot lately. I don’t like it. Not one, tiny little bit. And I guess THAT comes down to TRUST.   Also not one of my strong points. But Proverbs 3:5-6 makes it  pretty clear:  ”Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;  He’s the one who will keep you on track.”  (The Message)  We serve a God who loves us, who cares for us, who literally numbers every hair on our heads (even as they seem to falling out these days)… so why is it SO hard to trust in His love and goodness?  Something to ponder on this snowing winter day!

It’s been a long time.  I didn’t realize just HOW long until I saw that the Christmas countdown theme ~ from Christmas 2008 ~ was still up.  Of course, if I wait long enough it will be appropriate once more.  But I’m probably going to work on the whole theme thing soon.  IF I can remember how.  I had enough trouble figuring out how to log back into the site to post.

2009 was a long and difficult year.  So far, two months into 2010, I’m not all that excited by what has evolved thus far.  But I have been reminded that for me, this is a season of hope.  Hope and trust in the God that I serve, and faith in HIS plan for my future.  One of my favorite verses has always been Jeremiah 29:11:  ”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (NIV)

In the darkest of  my days, I must admit it’s been hard to see God’s plan, and hard to feel hopeful about His intentions.  But I was reminded yet again this morning ~ we are to bless God’s name not only when the sun is shining down us, but also when we find ourselves in a desert place or lost in what seems to us to be a wilderness.  I’m in that wilderness right now.  I don’t see my way out, and I don’t feel the sun shining down on me.  Still, God is the same yesterday and today and forever.

So on I must press, knowing that God IS by my side, and that He will give me a hope and a future even when I don’t feel it.  When doubt and discouragement call out to me even as I write.   Even in the darkness.